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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the 'Clean Phase I' Turns Into 'Surprise UST from 1963'

Broker: DD's a breeze Phase I: Surprise UST, vapor intrusion, and a raccoon HOA behind the dumpster Lender: Add $500k escrow, remediation plan, and move closing to yesterday 🤔 Me at 2:13am re-underwriting: If cap rate = 0, deal pencils; Seller: Hard by EOD? ā˜•ļø

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

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