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The CRE Humor Jokes

Phase I Said Clean... Then the 1986 Dry Cleaner Spawned

Broker: DD is chill, just a Phase I and estoppels Lender: Also need SNDA, zoning letter, ALTA, flood cert, and your firstborn Env Consultant: Phase I found a 1986 dry cleaner, Phase II o'clock 🫠 Client: We still closing Friday, right? Me at 2am: Re-underwriting because the roof is new in 1999 šŸ˜‚

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

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