Due Diligence: Where LOIs Go To Die (And My Sanity Too)

Expectation: 30-day DD, clean Phase I, easy close Reality: ALTA says half the parking is 'floating'; Phase I finds a 90s dry cleaner ghost; appraiser on PTO Broker: closing Friday Lender: need fresh T-12, rent roll tie-out, SNDAs wet-ink, roof core, and the seller's firstborn 😵‍💫 Me at 2:03 AM: underwriting_v27_FINAL-final.xlsx debating if vapor encroachment is a line item or a haunting 👻