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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the Appraisal Ghosts Your Cap Rate at 4:59 PM

5 days ago
1 min read

Broker: Modeled a 6 cap, lender’s “thrilled” Lender: “Quick thing—need updated T-12, estoppels, roof cert, and your soul” Appraiser at 4:59 PM: “Adjusted for ‘functional obsolescence’ and vibes—value -11%” Client: “My 1031 wires tomorrow?” Me: reopening Excel tab #47, praying to the IRR gods 😅

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