Broker: LOI signed, NNN, sleepy cap. Lender: Need one more doc—the estoppel, SNDA, Phase I, Phase II (maybe), and tenant DNA. Appraisal: Value -7% because the co-tenancy clause 'gives us the ick' 🤡 Client: We still close Friday? Me, re-underwriting DSCR at 3am: Absolutely—right after sensitivity #47 😵‍💫

Broker: Easy 30-day close Lender: Need updated rent roll, T-12, Phase I ESA, and proof your DSCR does CrossFit Appraiser: Value = 'we'll see after comp #47'; timeline = 'calendar is a suggestion' Me at 1:59am, Excel with 88 tabs: if I bold NOI, will cap rate respect me? 😵‍💫🧮