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The CRE Humor Jokes

When 'One Last Doc' Turns Into a Due Diligence Dungeon

Broker: We're clear to close Lender: need one last doc—estoppels from 47 tenants + SNDAs + proof the parking lot exists Seller: Roof 'new in 2019' = two patches and a prayer Excel: IRR down 200 bps after finding $0.37 in CAM, T-12 vs rent roll now hate each other 😵‍💫 Client: Friday close? Me: Phase I found a 1987 gas station, three USTs, and my will to live 😂

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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