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My CAM Spreadsheet Cried When The Roof Did
Expectation: finalize CAMs, go home before sunset Reality: third-floor waterfall; RTU fine—it’s the roof Vendor: “Dispatching” = see you Monday Owner: Also cut OpEx 10% and gross-up to 95% by EOD 😵
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See AllBroker: 95% occupied, turnkey, trust me Property Manager: 7 suites are month-to-month-ish, 3 COIs expired, roof is older than my LinkedIn Lender: Need updated rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and
Tenant: AC is broken at 68° Me 5:03pm Friday: on the roof in dress shoes negotiating with an RTU like it's a lender term sheet 😅 Expectation: amenity lounge; Reality: raccoon eviction, 37 COIs, and C
Expectation: Quiet Friday sign-off Reality: 4:59 PM roof leak, HVAC rage quit, elevator roleplaying stairs Broker: Quick tour tomorrow? Me: Sure—tell buyers to bring kayaks 😅 Tenant: EMERGENCY—microw
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