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The CRE Humor Jokes
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See AllBroker: We’re clear to close Friday Lender: IC needs a fresh Phase I, a new rent roll, and proof DSCR is 1.35 on a rainy Tuesday Client: Also can we add a drive-thru, 3 months free, and a 7% price cut
Broker: 1.35 DSCR, NNN, clean Phase I — easy close Lender: Please send native T-12 Excel, Argus audit, ALTA update, 20 estoppels, and a notarized soul Appraiser: Market “shifted,” so we comped to a 20
Broker: We’re CTC by Friday Lender: Need a 2012 roof invoice, a fresh Phase I, and your kindergarten report card Client: Can we lock rate? Me: Locking myself in Excel, praying the rent roll matches re
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