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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker vs Lender vs Client: The 11th-Hour Re-Trade Olympics

2 days ago
1 min read

Broker: We’re clear to close Friday Lender: IC needs a fresh Phase I, a new rent roll, and proof DSCR is 1.35 on a rainy Tuesday Client: Also can we add a drive-thru, 3 months free, and a 7% price cut? Me: Re-underwriting for the 19th time while whispering “market comp” into my Excel 🥲

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Broker: 1.35 DSCR, NNN, clean Phase I — easy close Lender: Please send native T-12 Excel, Argus audit, ALTA update, 20 estoppels, and a notarized soul Appraiser: Market “shifted,” so we comped to a 20

 
 
 

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