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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence: The Horror Movie With a Closing Date

Broker: DD is a breeze Lender: Cool, just need T-12, clean rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I, roof + sewer, COIs—by EOD Me @ 4:59pm: Phase I found a 'mystery tank', zoning is 'legal nonconforming', insurance tripled 😵‍💫 Client: Can we still close Friday? Me: Sure—if Friday is theoretical.

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Due Diligence Jenga: One More Estoppel And We're Out

Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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