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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence: The 48-Hour Horror Movie (and the Email Isn’t Even the Villain)

Underwriting: “We’re good—mostly.” I call the lender: “One question.” Lender: “Yes, about the 37 open items you forgot.” Client: “Can we close before the inspection?” 😵

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Broker: LOI signed, PSA clean, we're cruising Lender: Need fresh estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I that says 'no vibes,' and a 1.35 DSCR in a 1.10 world 😵‍💫 Buyer: Underwrote at 6.25% cap; Seller heard

 
 
 

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