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The CRE Humor Jokes

Due Diligence Jenga: Why My Coffee Has a Cap Rate

ricklahkar
Apr 26
1 min read

Expectation: 30-day DD, clean Phase I, tidy estoppels, lender kumbaya Reality: Day 29—Phase I finds 1987 dry cleaner, T12 ≠ OM, SNDA MIA, roof “installed during Reagan.” 🧨 Lender: “One more item”—updated rent roll, ALTA, zoning letter signed in blood Me 2:13am: tweak exit cap 10 bps, IRR evaporates; underwriting my coffee to DSCR 1.25x 😵‍💫

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The CRE Humor Jokes

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