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Clear to Close* (Terms May Self-Destruct)

Broker: We're clear to close Friday Lender: Need fresh T-12, ALTA 2021, estoppels, SNDA wet-ink, and a Phase I update because a truck sneezed oil šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« Client: Still 10yr IO at 4%, right? My neighbor's cousin's TikTok said so Me 2:03am: Rebuilding the model after CAMs were 'estimates' and the roof warranty is 'manifesting' šŸ˜‚

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Appraisal Said 6 Cap, My IRR Left the Chat

Me underwriting: 18% IRR if I pretend CapEx is 'future me's problem'. Lender: DSCR at 1.26? Rounding down, escrows up, proceeds downā€”science. Appraiser: Pulled a 2019 comp 47 miles away 'similar vibe'

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Broker vs Lender vs Client: The Appraisal Hunger Games

Broker: IC approved, DSCR 1.35, weā€™re unstoppable Lender: Need updated rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, ALTA survey, and a time machine to 2017 Appraiser: Value came in at vibes; also found a 1983 dry clea

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Broker Math vs Lender Math: DSCR Cage Match

Broker: It's 95% occupied, easy 6-cap Lender: Coolā€”need T-12, rent roll, estoppels, PFS, and your soul Appraiser: 2019 comps + 'market headwinds' = value minus hope Me: Adding tab 27 'magical add-back

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