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The CRE Humor Jokes

Appraisal Said 6 Cap, My IRR Left the Chat

ricklahkar
1 hour ago
1 min read

Me underwriting: 18% IRR if I pretend CapEx is 'future me's problem'. Lender: DSCR at 1.26? Rounding down, escrows up, proceeds down—science. Appraiser: Pulled a 2019 comp 47 miles away 'similar vibe', adjusted -17% for moon phase. Client: 'Close by Friday?' Me: 'After Phase I, estoppels/SNDA, ALTA Table A… sure, see you in Q4 2049' 🤡

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The CRE Humor Jokes

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