top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker Math vs Lender Math: DSCR Cage Match

Broker: It's 95% occupied, easy 6-cap Lender: Cool—need T-12, rent roll, estoppels, PFS, and your soul Appraiser: 2019 comps + 'market headwinds' = value minus hope Me: Adding tab 27 'magical add-backs' so DSCR limps to 1.25 🧮😅

Recent Posts

See All
Appraisal Said 6 Cap, My IRR Left the Chat

Me underwriting: 18% IRR if I pretend CapEx is 'future me's problem'. Lender: DSCR at 1.26? Rounding down, escrows up, proceeds down—science. Appraiser: Pulled a 2019 comp 47 miles away 'similar vibe'

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page