ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

When the TI Allowance Meets Reality: My Excel Cried and the GC Laughed

ricklahkar
May 7
1 min read

Expectation: $40/SF TI solves it all Reality: GC—'that buys the doorknob; demo is a change order' 🤡 Me opening CAM reconciliation like a birthday card: surprise—snow removal in July Lender: 'Need updated PCA' | City: 'Install 4 hydrants for a yoga studio' Underwriting cap rate: 6.75; Actual: cap = vibes, DSCR = 'ask your mother' 🧮🚧

Recent Posts

See All

CAM Season: The Spreadsheet Hunger Games

Broker: It's NNN, tenant covers CAM Reality Me in March: Cool, so why does trash removal have a sequel and a spin-off? Lender: Send the CAM backup Me: Here's a 97-tab Excel, 4 pivots, and one VLOOKUP

TI Allowance vs Change Order 7: The Sequel Nobody Asked For

Broker: TI allowance is 'more than enough' GC: Please see Change Order 7—apparently the exit door costs extra now Asset Manager: CAM true-up coming… after three 'preliminary' reconciliations Me at 2am

Expectation: 6-Week TI. Reality: 6-Month Group Chat That Won't Die

Broker: 6-week TI, easy GC: After permits, lead times, change orders, and a surprise asbestos cameo... Landlord: TI allowance is fixed. Also ‘standard buildout’ = two outlets and a dream. Tenant: Here

The CRE Humor Jokes

Comments