top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Search

When the OM Says 6 Cap and the Rent Roll Says LMAO

Broker: Clean 6 cap, stabilized, turnkey Lender: Need T-12, T-3, T-1, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and your childhood diary Me: Open model, DSCR 1.09, roof report says original 1987 — IRR hits Ctrl+Alt+Del 😵‍💫 Seller: No retrades; also drops CAM reconciliation from Narnia Client: Can we close Friday? Me: Sure, if SOFR naps and the anchor stops going dark 🔥

Recent Posts

See All
Cap Rate Blinked; My Model Filed for Bankruptcy

Broker: It's a layup Lender: Upload revised T-12, T-3, rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, flood cert, and vibes Client: Make it NNN, add a mezz slice, 1031 the equity, and still close Friday? Me @ 11:59 PM:

 
 
 
When DSCR Catfishes Your LOI

Broker: It’s a clean 1.30x DSCR, trust the OM Lender: Cool, send T-12, rent roll, SNDAs/estoppels Seller: Also taxes reset 35% and the chiller died during diligence Me in Excel at 1:59 AM: 0.99x befor

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet
Add a rating
bottom of page