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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the LOI Says 'As-Is' But the Lender Wants Your Soul

Aug 18
1 min read

Broker: Clean 5-cap, whisper soft, seller flexible Lender: Cool—send T-12, rent roll, SNDA, estoppels, ALTA, Phase I, and your last 3 lifetimes Client: Lock rate today, 30-day close, and negotiate free TI/LC… also lower price? Me in Excel: =IF(PhaseI="clean", "close", "retrade & cry") ☕😵‍💫

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