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The CRE Humor Jokes

When the 'Clean NNN Deal' Has More SNDAs Than Tenants

Broker: It's a clean NNN deal, no hair Lender: Cool, send updated estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, and proof the parking lot isn't on Mars Appraiser: Closest comp is a drive-thru pet crematorium 18 miles away but 'market is market' 🤔 Client: If we start diligence today can we still close Friday? Excel: DSCR 1.30 until one cell sneezes—now it's #DIV/0! šŸŽƒšŸ§®

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Underwrote 6.25% Cap, Appraised at Lol

Broker: Underwrote 95% occupancy, totally conservative, pinky swear. Appraiser: Subject borders a haunted parking lot; -120 bps for vibes. Lender: Need T-12, T-36, T-everything, estoppel bingo, and a

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