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The CRE Humor Jokes

When One Cell Turns a Core Deal into Core‑Memory Trauma

Broker: 'Proforma is conservative' Lender: 'Send T12, T3, rent roll, and your soul' Excel: change one input, DSCR goes 1.37 -> 1.09 Me: naming it 'Sensitivity' like it's not a crime scene 🧮🥲

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Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

 
 
 

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