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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure, if Starbucks anchors a cornfield ☕️ Lender 4:58pm: need rate cap, new Phase I, and sponsor liquidity selfie with today’s newspaper 😵

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