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The CRE Humor Jokes

When Excel Says 1.35x And The Lender Says lol: An Underwriting Horror-Comedy

Broker: It’s a clean deal, 95% occupied Me: Modeled 1.35x DSCR and a 6 cap, feeling invincible Lender: Please upload trailing 47 P&Ls, roof selfies, and proof your pro forma believes in gravity Appraiser: Value… depends who asked Me at 2:37am color-coding 19 tabs: Is this underwriting or Sudoku on nightmare mode? 😵‍💫

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Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

 
 
 

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