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When DSCR Sneezes And Your 30-Day Close Gets Pneumonia

Broker: Offer accepted, 30-day close easy Lender: DSCR 1.24 now—need cash-in + rate bump 📉 Attorney: After SNDA, 9 estoppels, ALTA update, and roof cert… maybe Seller: Also we moved the rent roll to "a different spreadsheet" Me at 1:53am: enabling circular references and bargaining with Excel 😵‍💫

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DSCR Says 1.25x, My Soul Says Extension Please

Broker: It pencils at a 6 cap Lender: After our stress test it pencils at a crayon Me: Rebuilding the model because T12 ≠ rent roll and DSCR is allergic to reality 🧮 Seller: No price cut. Also CAMs w

 
 
 
The LOI Said 'Non-Binding' But My Anxiety Isn't

Expectation: 6% cap, clean Phase I, lender jazz hands Reality: 4.3% cap, HVAC is vapor, Phase I finds a vintage fuel tank Broker: we're at the one-yard line; Lender: need estoppels & SNDAs from every

 
 
 

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