top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

DSCR Says 1.25x, My Soul Says Extension Please

Broker: It pencils at a 6 cap Lender: After our stress test it pencils at a crayon Me: Rebuilding the model because T12 ≠ rent roll and DSCR is allergic to reality 🧮 Seller: No price cut. Also CAMs were reconciled by vibes 😵‍💫

Recent Posts

See All
The LOI Said 'Non-Binding' But My Anxiety Isn't

Expectation: 6% cap, clean Phase I, lender jazz hands Reality: 4.3% cap, HVAC is vapor, Phase I finds a vintage fuel tank Broker: we're at the one-yard line; Lender: need estoppels & SNDAs from every

 
 
 
NNN Dream, DSCR Nightmare: The Lender Bingo Edition

Broker: It’s a clean NNN, 6 cap, national-credit grocer, set-and-forget. Lender: Cool—just need T12, T3, estoppels from 11 tenants, roof cores, Phase I, flood cert, and your middle-school report card.

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page