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When the Lender Says Quick Close and My Excel Starts Smoking

Me: LOI says 30-day close Lender: send T-12, T-3, rent roll, estoppels, SNDAs, Phase I, Phase II, and your firstborn 🧮 Appraiser: subject to roof, parking, and the concept of math Client: 75% LTV at 6%, right? Me, staring at a 9-cap proforma on a 5-cap reality: absolutely 🔥

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DSCR Says 1.25x, My Soul Says Extension Please

Broker: It pencils at a 6 cap Lender: After our stress test it pencils at a crayon Me: Rebuilding the model because T12 ≠ rent roll and DSCR is allergic to reality 🧮 Seller: No price cut. Also CAMs w

 
 
 
The LOI Said 'Non-Binding' But My Anxiety Isn't

Expectation: 6% cap, clean Phase I, lender jazz hands Reality: 4.3% cap, HVAC is vapor, Phase I finds a vintage fuel tank Broker: we're at the one-yard line; Lender: need estoppels & SNDAs from every

 
 
 
NNN Dream, DSCR Nightmare: The Lender Bingo Edition

Broker: It’s a clean NNN, 6 cap, national-credit grocer, set-and-forget. Lender: Cool—just need T12, T3, estoppels from 11 tenants, roof cores, Phase I, flood cert, and your middle-school report card.

 
 
 

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