top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Search

When DSCR Ghosts You at 11:59 PM

Broker: It’s stabilized at 95% Me (underwriting): 73% after TI/LC, free rent, and removing cousin’s $1 lease Lender: Cool—send v19 rent roll, environmental, and proof the roof isn’t aspirational Excel: DSCR 1.25 until I hit F9… now 0.99 💀📈

Recent Posts

See All
The Rent Roll Said 95% Then Excel Said No

Broker: it’s 95% leased Excel: after CAM recs + T-12 reality, it’s 72% and three emotional support tenants 🤡 Lender: upload the “final” model; also tweak exit cap, rent growth, and gravity Me: commit

 
 
 
Underwriting Jenga: DSCR Edition

Broker: 'Pro forma conservative—6 cap, rent roll immaculate' Lender: 'Then why does DSCR drop to 1.05x if I delete the cell named Misc Magic?' Me in Excel at 2:17 AM: IF(IRR<18%, add 'Other Income: Na

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet
Add a rating
bottom of page