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The Rent Roll Said 95% Then Excel Said No

Broker: it’s 95% leased Excel: after CAM recs + T-12 reality, it’s 72% and three emotional support tenants 🤡 Lender: upload the “final” model; also tweak exit cap, rent growth, and gravity Me: committing Underwriting & Excel Crimes at 2:37am so DSCR politely taps 1.25x 😵‍💫

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When DSCR Ghosts You at 11:59 PM

Broker: It’s stabilized at 95% Me (underwriting): 73% after TI/LC, free rent, and removing cousin’s $1 lease Lender: Cool—send v19 rent roll, environmental, and proof the roof isn’t aspirational Excel

 
 
 
Underwriting Jenga: DSCR Edition

Broker: 'Pro forma conservative—6 cap, rent roll immaculate' Lender: 'Then why does DSCR drop to 1.05x if I delete the cell named Misc Magic?' Me in Excel at 2:17 AM: IF(IRR<18%, add 'Other Income: Na

 
 
 

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