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The CRE Humor Jokes

When a 6.25% Cap Meets DSCR: Everyone Cries Except Excel

Broker: 6.25% cap, turnkey, easy win Lender: Stress taxes to full market, add 5% mgmt, delete 'vibes' from NOI Client: How did 6.25 become 4.1 with an interest reserve and a prayer? Me: DSCR said no, Excel said circular reference, appraisal came in 200 bps low šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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Broker: It's a layup Lender: Upload revised T-12, T-3, rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, flood cert, and vibes Client: Make it NNN, add a mezz slice, 1031 the equity, and still close Friday? Me @ 11:59 PM:

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When DSCR Catfishes Your LOI

Broker: It’s a clean 1.30x DSCR, trust the OM Lender: Cool, send T-12, rent roll, SNDAs/estoppels Seller: Also taxes reset 35% and the chiller died during diligence Me in Excel at 1:59 AM: 0.99x befor

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