top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Underwriting Wins the Olympics (I’m the Concussion)

Me: “This deal is clean.” Underwriting: “Cute. Now please explain why the rent roll is 14 tabs and vibes.” Excel: *calculating* Lender: “One more condition.” (it’s always 3 pages and a new spreadsheet) 😵‍💫

Recent Posts

See All
Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page