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The CRE Humor Jokes

The TI Change Order That Ate My Cap Rate

Broker: Lease signed! Lender: Clear to close! GC: About that "minor" TI—it’s now a capital campaign 🚧 Underwriting me: 6-week build; City: surprise plan check + 'heritage beam' review; schedule now "Q4-ish" Client: Why did CAM spike? Me: We pulled 200 amps so the espresso machine you "don’t need" can purr Excel IRR: 17% | Change Order Email: new IRR is vibes 😂

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Broker: It's NNN, tenant covers CAM Reality Me in March: Cool, so why does trash removal have a sequel and a spin-off? Lender: Send the CAM backup Me: Here's a 97-tab Excel, 4 pivots, and one VLOOKUP

 
 
 

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