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The CRE Humor Jokes

The TI Budget That Went To Vegas And Never Came Back

Broker: It’s a simple TI — paint, carpet, vibes GC: Cool, demo is asbestos, slab is surfing, ceiling is a landmark now Landlord: Use our “standard” spec (discontinued in 2011) Excel: Pro forma says 12% IRR; CAM reconciliation says LOL Lender: Send final budget… plus 30% contingency and your soul 🥲😵‍💫🛠️

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CAM Season: The Spreadsheet Hunger Games

Broker: It's NNN, tenant covers CAM Reality Me in March: Cool, so why does trash removal have a sequel and a spin-off? Lender: Send the CAM backup Me: Here's a 97-tab Excel, 4 pivots, and one VLOOKUP

 
 
 

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