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My Excel Said 6% Cap, The Lender Said 'Cute'

Expectation: Argus export + color-coded model = smooth term sheet Reality: DSCR dies when lender bumps SOFR curve and T-12 reveals 'Utilities - Surprise' Me: add 17th sensitivity, normalize CAM, swear NOI grew $42; Lender: 'cool, re-trade for the roof we found on Google Earth' šŸ˜µā€šŸ’« Client: 'Can we close Friday?' Title: 'Need estoppels, SNDAs, and a time machine' šŸ”„

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Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 ā€” lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

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When Your 1.35 DSCR Meets the Lender's Tiny Stress Test

Proforma: DSCR 1.35 and a 6 cap ā€” living the dream Lender after 'small' stress test: taxes + insurance + reserves = 0.99 Client: just 'optimize NOI' and still hit 65% LTV šŸ™‚ Me at 2:12am: doing INDEX/

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