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The CRE Humor Jokes

LOI: Easy Deal. PSA: Bring a Shovel.

Sep 1
1 min read

Broker: Value-add = paint and vibes Lender: Phase I found USTs, bat habitat, and an easement in Comic Sans Client: Need 5% fixed, 75% LTV, nonrecourse, close Friday, also TI from seller 🙂 Me at 2:47am: renaming model Final_v27_REAL_THIS_TIME.xlsx while cap rate sprints to Jupiter 🫠

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