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The CRE Humor Jokes

I Changed One Cell And The DSCR Called 911

Broker: It's a light value-add Lender: Cool—send T-12, rent roll, estoppels, and Version_27_FINAL_FINAL.xlsx Me: tweak one cell -> Argus combusts, Excel circular refs, DSCR 1.35 to 0.98 ☠️ Client: Can we close Friday? Me: Sure, if SOFR naps, HVAC repents, and Phase I forgets the dry cleaner 😂

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Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

 
 
 

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