top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Final_v28_REALFINAL2.xlsx vs Reality

Broker: Cap rate 6, totally market 🧮 Excel: #REF! in DSCR, debt constant shifted, T12 roasted my pro forma Lender: Need T12, T3, rent roll vFinal, and your soul by COB Me: renaming Final_v28_REALFINAL2.xlsx while modeling 30-yr roof at 15 šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

Recent Posts

See All
Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

Ā 
Ā 
Ā 
When Your 1.35 DSCR Meets the Lender's Tiny Stress Test

Proforma: DSCR 1.35 and a 6 cap — living the dream Lender after 'small' stress test: taxes + insurance + reserves = 0.99 Client: just 'optimize NOI' and still hit 65% LTV šŸ™‚ Me at 2:12am: doing INDEX/

Ā 
Ā 
Ā 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page