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The CRE Humor Jokes

Expectation vs Reality: The Excel Underwriting Jump Scare

Expectation: “We’ll underwrite in 15 minutes.” Reality: Excel summons a 47-tab workbook exorcism. Lender: “Can you update the DSCR?” Me: “Sure—after I find where the spreadsheet buried my soul 😅”

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Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

 
 
 

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