Expectation: 6 Cap. Reality: #REF! — CRE Excel Crimes Exposed

Broker brain: “Pro forma is clean.” Excel: 42 hidden tabs, 7 circular refs, 1 VLOOKUP to nowhere. Lender: “Send the final model.” Me: renaming FINAL_final_v37_ACTUAL while praying to the cap rate gods 🙏 Client: “Can we close Friday?” Spreadsheet: adds ‘Roof 1998?’ and nukes DSCR to 1.19x 💥 Expectation: hockey-stick NOI. Reality: TI/LC hydra grows two heads every time I delete a row.