top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Excel Says 1.25x DSCR; Lender Says LOL

Jul 31
1 min read

Broker: Pro forma DSCR is 1.35x Lender: Cool, send the T-12 that whispers 0.98x Me at 2:03am: If I color-code NOI, debt yield behaves… right? 🧮 Excel: #VALUE! #DIV/0! also here’s a circular ref for vibes Client: We still closing Friday? Me: Absolutely—on a different planet 😵‍💫

Recent Posts

See All
Expectation: Clean T-12; Reality: 47 Tabs And One REF

Expectation: 6% cap, turnkey, lender nodding Reality: T-12 is a scavenger hunt, Argus expired, DSCR 1.19, Excel screams #REF! Me: Rename CapEx to “value-add,” convince debt yield it’s a vibe 😂 Seller

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page