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The CRE Humor Jokes

Excel Said My Cap Rate Is Tuesday

Client: quick back-of-napkin? Excel: 94 tabs, circular refs, a sheet called 'ProForma_FINAL_v29' Lender: stress DSCR at 9% rate, 30% vacancy, and taxes triple? Me: paste values… debt yield now equals 'Tuesday' 💀📊

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Underwriting vs Reality: Excel Crimes Unit (ECU)

Broker: Pro forma hits 1.35x DSCR easy Lender: Please attach T-12, rent roll, and the model Me opening "Underwriting_FINAL_FINAL_v12.xlsm": 37 hidden sheets, hardcoded NOI, circular refs named 'Magic'

 
 
 

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