top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

When Your Model Says 1.35x DSCR But The Lender Sees lol

Broker: pro forma is conservative Excel: #DIV/0! the moment I bump vacancy 1% 🧮 Lender: rerun at SOFR + 250 and assume taxes double, because vibes Me: DSCR from 1.35x to please-send-guarantor šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

Recent Posts

See All
Underwriting vs Reality: Excel Crimes Unit (ECU)

Broker: Pro forma hits 1.35x DSCR easy Lender: Please attach T-12, rent roll, and the model Me opening "Underwriting_FINAL_FINAL_v12.xlsm": 37 hidden sheets, hardcoded NOI, circular refs named 'Magic'

Ā 
Ā 
Ā 
Excel Said My Cap Rate Is Tuesday

Client: quick back-of-napkin? Excel: 94 tabs, circular refs, a sheet called 'ProForma_FINAL_v29' Lender: stress DSCR at 9% rate, 30% vacancy, and taxes triple? Me: paste values… debt yield now equals

Ā 
Ā 
Ā 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page