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The CRE Humor Jokes

DSCR vs My Blood Pressure: Broker–Lender–Appraiser Speedrun

Sep 3
1 min read

Broker: It’s a value-add slam dunk at a 6 cap Lender: Cool, send T-12, rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, Phase I, and proof you time-traveled to 2019 rates Appraiser: Used a comp 87 miles away because 'similar vibes' 🤡 Me: Redlining the model at 2:07am as tenant admits CAM was a guess 😵‍💫

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