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The CRE Humor Jokes

DSCR Hunger Games: Broker vs Lender vs Client

Broker: 6 cap, 1.35x DSCR on pro forma, slam dunk Lender: Cool—send T-12, T-3, rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, ALTA, Phase I, and your firstborn Client: Can we lock after we retrade, add $150k TI/LC, and ask for 2 yrs IO? 🤡 Me: Untangling a 47-tab model where EGI=NOI and the DSCR cell says TRUE 😂

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Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

 
 
 

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