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The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rate Hunger Games: Broker vs Lender vs Client

Broker: We're clear to close Friday Lender: Send clean T-12, rent roll that matches the OM, estoppels, Phase I, and a DSCR >1.20 Client: Can you do 3% fixed, 100% LTC, and seller carry for tax reasons? Me opening the model: 47 tabs, merged cells, circular refs — Underwriting & Excel Crimes 🔥😵‍💫

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Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

 
 
 

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