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The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rate Catfish vs DSCR: The Underwriting Hunger Games

ricklahkar
May 19
1 min read

Broker: it’s a 6 cap day one, whisper price ‘firm’ Lender: after reassessed taxes, TI/LC, and reserves… hello 3.7 Client: can we close in 10 days with CMBS, SBA, and my cousin’s HELOC? Me in Excel: one ‘assumption’ cell -> DSCR 1.30 to 0.98, model spontaneously combusts 😅 Expectation: pro forma yacht | Reality: T-12 dinghy with a leak 🚣

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When Your 1.35 DSCR Meets the Lender's Tiny Stress Test

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The CRE Humor Jokes

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