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The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rate Catfish: Proforma Looks 10, In-Place DSCR Is 0.98

Sep 4
1 min read

Broker: 6-cap, plug-and-play NNN, closing in 30 days Data room: 2019 NOI, 72% occupied, roof report coming soon Lender: need in-place DSCR 1.35, rollover plan, seismic, and a time machine Me: retrading at 7.5 cap, seller activated do-not-disturb 🫠

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