top of page
ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Cap Rate Catfish: Broker vs Lender vs Reality

Broker: It’s a 6.0% cap, stabilized, value-add lite Lender: Send rent roll, T-12, SNDAs, estoppels, Phase I, ALTA, and three blood types Me: Excel says 1.35x DSCR… until I unhide Row 482 (free rent + 600k TI) 😐 Client: Can we close Friday if we retrade 2M after the retrade? 🤡

Recent Posts

See All
Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

 
 
 

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page