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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker vs Excel: The 47-Tab Showdown I Didn't Underwrite For

Broker: T-12 is clean and “conservative” Lender: Great—send T-3, T-6, rent roll, estoppels, and a DSCR selfie Excel: Circular ref on FINAL_final2, 1,243 merged cells, VLOOKUP to Mars 🧮 Client: Can we hit a 6 cap with 90% leverage by Friday? Me: Absolutely, right after I find NOI hiding behind row 1,048,576 😂

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Expectation: 1.30x DSCR | Reality: Excel Says LOL

Expectation: 6% exit cap, 3-yr IO, DSCR 1.30 — lender says easy button Reality: Excel unmerges one cell; DSCR 1.09; taxes jump post-sale; please add $850k TI/LC Client: can we bump rents 18%? Me: sure

 
 
 

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