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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker Promised 'Plug-and-Play' TI, GC Delivered Plug-and-Pray

Broker: TI allowance is 'plug-and-play' GC: Plug = $78k change order, Play = 8-week HVAC lead + city plan check Landlord: Don't worry, CAM rec captures it Tenant: Why does my coffee bar have a depreciation schedule? šŸ˜…šŸ§¾

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TI Allowance vs Reality: CAM Ate My Pro Forma

Client: $40/SF TI is plenty GC: After 'value engineering,' we're at $120/SF and two change orders šŸ˜… Me in Excel at 1:59 AM: Why does CAM make the mop cost $18k/year? 🧮 Landlord: Can we open Friday?

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TI Champagne Taste, CAM Ramen Budget

Broker: $30/SF TI can totally transform the space GC: Cool, into a slightly different white box Tenant: Add skylights, polished concrete, podcast studio, and vibes? CAM Reconciliation: That'll be $6.1

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