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The CRE Humor Jokes

Broker Math vs Lender Math: The DSCR Hunger Games

ricklahkar
Apr 12
1 min read

Broker: Pro forma DSCR 1.35x, capex 'light', rent roll 'market-ready' Lender: Cool—send T-12, current rent roll, Phase I, ALTA, SNDAs, estoppels, and your soul Excel: Circular ref, Goal Seek sweating, IRR shows up once you fix time travel 😵‍💫 Client: We closing Friday? Me: After rate-cap sticker shock, co-tenancy landmines, and a blood moon 🔥

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The CRE Humor Jokes

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