ChatGPT Image Mar 21, 2026, 05_41_11 PM.png

The CRE Humor Jokes

Appraisal Hits at 4:59pm, My Pro Forma Enters Witness Protection

ricklahkar
Apr 23
1 min read

Broker: it pencils at 6-cap, whisper price firm Lender: cool, after tax reset, new insurance, roof report, and a 200-page PCA? 🧮 Appraiser 4:59pm: value subject-to-lease-up... on a 100% occupied deal Me, deleting tabs in Excel: underwriting vibes only now 😵‍💫

Recent Posts

See All

Cap Rate Blinked; My Model Filed for Bankruptcy

Broker: It's a layup Lender: Upload revised T-12, T-3, rent roll, estoppels, SNDA, flood cert, and vibes Client: Make it NNN, add a mezz slice, 1031 the equity, and still close Friday? Me @ 11:59 PM:

Broker vs Lender vs Client: The LOI Olympics (Sponsored by Moving Goalposts)

Broker: LOI at whisper, 30-day close, easy peasy Lender: Need updated T3, T12, estoppels, janitor-signed rent roll, and your childhood GPA Client: Does the parking lot cashflow? Also want 2019 rates w

When DSCR Catfishes Your LOI

Broker: It’s a clean 1.30x DSCR, trust the OM Lender: Cool, send T-12, rent roll, SNDAs/estoppels Seller: Also taxes reset 35% and the chiller died during diligence Me in Excel at 1:59 AM: 0.99x befor

The CRE Humor Jokes

Comments